Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Dear Nice Lady...

...who rear ended me. While the hug you gave me was nice, what would have been nicer is if you hadn't had run into the back of my car. While I was stopped. Completely stopped. I know you're sorry but now I'm sorry too. Sorry that I can't stop being cranky about the whole thing. I know you didn't know that I had back surgery 2 years ago and still have numbness in my leg from the nerve damage. I know that if you knew that, you would have tried to hit someone else; someone perfectly healthy and in fine shape, someone who wouldn't be sitting here now all achy and sore. And while I'm sharing my feelings, new friend, I'd like to say how much I hate carbs. Yes, totally irrelevant to the little love tap you gave me, however it is totally relevant to my crankiness. I bet you also didn't know that the lady you bumped into is on a low carb diet; that I am an Italian (naturally predisposed to love all things carby) on a low carb diet. Yes, Dr. Garcia and his magical vitamin B shots are miracle workers but if I didn't have a weigh in tomorrow, I would be drowning my achy back, scratched up car, overall cranky ass sorrows in a Lovers Size Chocolate Devotion with a swirl of fluff (my own special touch).

The hug was a nice touch though. I felt your sincerity. But I'm too small a person to overcome all of this right away. I'm gonna hold a grudge. At least for tonight. And I pray that the iron fist of hate that is clutching my heart oh so tightly is gone tonight. Because if I see you tomorrow on my long drive in... your little hugging butt is mine! All mine! Muwahahaha! And then once I take you out, I'm knocking over the next Cold Stone.

Signed,
Hurting, Hugged and Hungry

2 comments:

Preppy 101 said...

I hope you are okay! Funny post for sure ;-)

Scarlet O'Kara said...

I am so sorry that you were rear-ended...but glad that you are OK...even if your back is hurting again. I bet Ms. Nice Lady's insurance company would pay for a Chiropractic visit or two...nice massage included.

Just a thought...